...sigh...

So...Lez went to Ohio today at like 8 this morning...it is now 4:15 and I'm going through withdrawls! It's crazy...she's been my best friend for 7 years and we had our up and down moments but since she's been living with me we've become super close. She's more than a friend she's my sister (that sounds so cheesy!)! But it's true, when I'm sad she's always there with a hug, when I'm mad she's always there with ears ready for venting, and when I say something really really stupid...conveniently she's always there to make fun of me...hmmm?? But whatever the case is she's got my back!

Bear...thanks and I love you!

Since I've moved here to Toronto I find that I get emotional really easy. I cry at the drop of a hat, I get heated when someone hurts someone else, and I get so passionate about things that it consumes all my thoughts and actions.

Well, last week I had to write a paper for my Romans class on Paul interpretation of human depravity in Romans 1:18-32. I started to write this paper with the stress that it had to be 10-12 pages and I had no idea where to begin. So I started with the current day and how depraved we are as humans, it sounded nothing like an academic paper but it was totally from me! Allow me to share with you the first few paragraphs:

In a world like today’s one can see the depravity wherever they go. Walking down a street you see the homeless, the drunk, the prostitutes, the addicted, and many more. The depravity of the human race is played out in many scenarios, for example, crimes involving sexual exploitation, murder, stealing, assault, vandalism, etc. Because of such heinous crimes there has been many programs and organizations devoted to the conquering of this depravity. Everyday, one could watch the news and hear a new story about some form of this depravity as it plays out in a larger city or even a small town. It seems that wherever you go, there is always some lagging behind you, following you, until you turn around and realize that it is the world that you live in, the crime and depravity is what is following you. You search for that gold lining, that something that will tear you away from the distrait world of yours, but nothing seems to be there. Every turn you make reveals a door that opens to a new kind of depravity, a new kind of sin that just will not subside. As you run frantic around like a chicken with its head cut off, you search, you plead, you cry, you break, you confess, and you wither, but still nothing, just the depravity of the human race.
Wake up, open you eyes and realize the depravity that you are experiencing is not new to the place that you call home. In fact, it is as old as the beginning of this great planet. There is a saying that every child hates to hear from their parent and that is, "you don’t know how good you got it", what is that statement supposed to mean? We don’t know how good we got it! Instead of stones we have guns to kill with, instead of crucifying, we have the electric chair, instead of lashing with wipes we have beatings with bats and Billy Clubs, instead of murder we have murder, instead of rape we have rape, instead of homosexuality we have homosexuality, instead of idolizing false gods we idolize celebrities. The saying then does not ring as true as one might think. There has never been a time when anyone had it better. Since the fall of man, depravity has become the main suitor for God’s beloved ones. Through out time and history many stories have been told of such human depravity. Writers have pleaded with leaders to help overcome the problems, however, none pleads the most like Paul did in Romans 1:18-32.

I got a little into it...don't ya think? That's the way I am though, heart on my sleeve! Sunday, I went to 614 Regent Park and I got to experience some of the greatest community there. I started to get really emotional towards the end when the enitre congregation stood around in a circle singing! It was beautiful! I was overcome with the thought that these people have nothing in this world, but they worship God and praise Him with a rich heart, while few hours earlier at 11, churches all over the city were in session and many hearts of the wealthy were cold and hard. Not letting God or anyone else in!

I think that is the greatest depravity I've ever experienced!

Pray!

"Take me as I am!"

I have no need to graduate from university, no need to backpack through Europe, no need to skydive, visit Africa, New Zeland, or Figi, I have no need to get married, have my eight kids, watch them grow up and have kids of their own...WHY? Because I'm born again in Christ and I saw the greatest concert ever, by the greatest band ever, I can die happy!

That's right ladies and gentlemen I saw Dream Theater live! Granted that my seats sucked and I could hardly see over the guys infront of me but it didn't matter, I could feel the vibrations in my chest and that was AWESOME!

Highlights:
-Eating at the Hard Rock Cafe with my cousin Dale (who went to the concert with me) and watching all the DT fans trickle in...it's true all their fans are either metal heads or computer nerds!
-Feeling the energy of the fans as we waited in line to go in!
-Buying my first offical piece of DT merch...I'm sure there will be many more pieces to come!
-Having the house lights go down and waiting with great anticipation for that first pound by Portnoy's drumstick
-...and then it happens!
-Watcing the lights on Portnoy's drumkit light up with each hit!
-Seeing Jordan Rudess play his keyboard with his left hand while stretching across with his right to play a tricked out finger board!
-Watching John Myung and John Petrucci, in the middle of Octarvium, stand face to face and play each other's instrament!
-Watching Portnoy walk from one kit to the next all the while he's playing!
-Being able to watch in person how fast both of the John's finger's move along their strings!
-The wicked awesome cartoon for Octavarium!
-Hearing Rudess play a beautiful keyboard solo and then transition into Wait For Sleep!
-Hearing James Labrie yell "Hell-o Tor-on-to"!
- Peruvian Skies...enough said!
-During Octavarium the slideshow of all the different artists/album covers that are featured in the song!
-Getting to call my brother during As I Am and letting him listen!

All in all the night was pretty solid, except that I lost my bus pass! And I didn't get to share it with my brother, who would have loved to have been there!

Go, all of you now and buy a Dream Theater cd, trust me...you'll love them!

It was a Time!

So, tonight I had the pleasure of attending the weekly small group for ETC-NGS! Usually I have class but this week it was cancelled...MONEY!

Tonight Ashley led us and we talked about how we have to work together as one in order to reach our full capacity in Christ! It was dead on for where we're at with NGS right now. Although not all of us could be there it was still a time!

Afterwards we got to a podcastin'! That's right ladies and gents, within the next few weeks Lez, Gordy and myself will be featured on the first podcast for sendthefire.ca! Hopefully Ashley and Phil can get something good from our 35 minutes of crazy ETC ramblings! But we did get to some serious talk! Ashley wanted to discuss something that most young people have to deal with and that is identity! The three of us told our personal stories of how we dealt with high school and what not! Then she asked us to give a peice of advice to those teens out there!

It was funny and interesting to start talking about what we were like back in the day. I learned that I'm the biggest goober ever and that my life was super dull compared to others! But I'm glad that I never did anything REALLY bad...who am I kidding? I didn't do anything bad in high school! Even though I never struggled with who I was back then, it wasn't until I moved to the big TO that I went through that awkward "finding yourself" stage! And about 2 1/2 years later I finally can say that I'm starting to understand who I am and where I'm headed! But it's still tough, but God is carrying me so I'm cool!

I learned something this year however, LEAVE IT TO GOD! What ever it is, just give it to God to handle, until you know for sure what to do with it! It actually works!

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What the FLIP!

The flippin' Montreal Canadians traded Jose Theodore! What the...I don't know if I'm more shocked or upset! Teddy hasn't been doing well this season but...he's so hot! No...bad...he is a good goalie! The stupid Avs are taken all our goalies! Man! Gosh! But on the bright side Aebischer is half decent! Heh! Oh Theodore...you break my heart!

...Tear...

Oh Don!

As you can tell by my profile I'm a big fan of Donald Miller. Well, this past week I bought his new book called, "To Own A Dragon; Reflections on Growing Up Without A Father". Now as you already know I've been blessed to grow up with a wonderful father, so why would I want to read this book? Because I love Don! If you haven't read any of his stuff you should he's awesome!

Anyways, this book is all about him and how he coped with the different things of life without a dad. It's a good, easy read, mainly due to the fact that it was written with the idea that teenaged boys without fathers were gonna read it. However, I've been touched by this book as well. In the chapter about sex, Donald explains how he was talking with a fraternity at the University of Texas. They were talking about how hard it was for them to be "Christians" at that school because there was so much drinking and sex going on. Don said something that spoke to me as a woman, here's how it played out,

"But women don't withhold sex. It doesn't work like that any more," a guy from the back of the room stated.

"That's true," I said. "Women are imitating men, I think. The presuppostion is that men are right, and in order for a women to be successful, she should not act like a woman but like a man. Thanks for the compliment, but I disagree. I think men need women to be women, and we need to be made to jump through some hoops. If a woman withholds sex until she gets wants, we are all better for it."

I love that, and the funny thing is it's true! We (women) try so hard to find our place in the world that we forget to act like a woman. It's time to make the men jump through hoops, ladies...it's time!:)

Gold!

Love!

Yesterday I did a fair bit of crying! A fair bit of sighing! A fair bit of wishing! A fair bit of praying! A fair bit of praising! A fair bit thinking!

Yes, I went to a wedding! Josh and Jenn Ivany's wedding! It was beautiful, casual, full of praise and love! Of course Josh sang to his beautiful bride a song that really tugged at my heart strings (which isn't hard)! My heart strings were also tugged by the best man/ brother of the groom speech! There is just something about seeing a grown man cry that just gets me everytime! It was all beautiful!

They had a worship service after the reception, where the guest had the opportunity to say words of inspiration and love to the bride and groom! We also sang some songs...How Great Thou Art...money!

But I started to think about love, which is normal for a wedding! But I thought about the love of a man to a women, love from a father to a daughter, love between brothers, and God's love! The entire day was not just a wedding celebration but a day of covenant between God and two people in love with each other and God! I thought it was beautiful to see everyone thanking God, and praising God, not just offering congratulations to the happy couple!

I hope that when that day comes for me to get married, I stay focused on God and His grace and blessings He has and will continue to give me!

Josh and Jenn...you're an inspiration...congrats...and God Bless!