Do you ever think to live each day like it's your last? Worship God to the fullest, give Him praise, honour and glory with every breath that He gives you? With the blink of an eye and a beat of a heart life can change. But as the Holy Dove moves in you, every breath you drew was Hallelujah!

Tragedy is something that is eneviable but constant. But should we look at a death as a tragedy? Yeah he's taken from us here on earth but he's in Heaven, where we're meant to be. I dreamt of him walking through the gates of heaven, first realizing what had happened. Despite the pain and anger on earth, a smile appears on his face and he says to himself, "I'm home!"

We don't understand but we have no need to ask why. It's the will!

We'll see you again on the shores of heaven, or maybe in the snow covered mountains, chill with God and throw pebbles in the lake. Look down, look wide, you touched each that came in contact with you...you will be missed, never forgotten, and always loved.

Sorry! I do have a reason for the lack of blogging...I forgot my log-in name and password, I have so many different ones! But I just figured it out, did you know that they can email you some of the information for you account, boy I'm not the brightest! But anyways I've cracked the mystery that is my password so I can blog again!

I guess the best thing for right now would be an update. I graduated, despite the procrastination, late nights, missed classes, lack of secondary sources and in the case of Global Christianity an entire book report! It's done, my post secondary career as I know it is over...at least for about a year and then who knows!

God has given me so much in my short 21 years and he continues to give, a job has been His latest gift with any bit of weight. I'm contracted for a year at my church in East Toronto as the Community Service Coordinator. Kid-Z-Own, volunteers, and Christmas Kettles are just a few things that will be under my watch. I'm excited about it, I believe it'll be good for myself, the church, and the community. I do request your prayers and thank-you for the support I know you give me.

Other than those two achievements not much has been happening in my life, I've just been relaxing, having my first summer vacation in 5 years. I did however, buy a MacBook which is freakin' sweet! That is also exciting! Ha!

Peace out and have peace in!

How many times do you have to be punched to realize it hurts?

As you sit here, in your PJ's listening to Jack's Mannequin; eating the breakfast of champions...Reece Puffs you think to yourself...Me what the hect? Why aren't you finishing your paper? You idiot, you only have to write the intro and do the bibliography...move! *She takes a mouthful of cereal* Being up all night, not sleeping for 24 hours really does the body good, until you attend class (which you eventually leave due to pure exhaustion) needing to pay attention *takes another mouthful* because it's the final class of the year and they're discussing the exam. But you can't stay awake, "maybe I should have started my assignment earlier so that I wouldn't have had to stay up all night to finish!" But oh well, it's done now, handed in and there's no turning! You went to bed for a couple of hours. *Another spoonful in your tummy* Wake up and you are here...still procrastinating!

The Cloud and the Flower

A barren land with a single, lonely flower.
The morning dewdrops sit so silently as the sun peaks above the edge.
As lonely as the flower is, its beauty surpasses the beauty of all things.
To see its pain, to hear its cries makes it all the more beautiful.
As the sun continues to rise, the dew dries and the flower becomes exposed.
Exposed for the entire world to see, only no one is there. No animal, man or even blade of grass.
The cries of the flower can be heard across the land but still it sits alone.
“Who will shield me from the scorching sun?” Wails the suffering flower.
No One!
Until, a glorious cloud, with colors of night, slowly makes its way across the vast sky. Sits, hovering above the land waiting, waiting for that precise moment. It has been so long that this cloud has been above this land, it’s done so much to deserve nothing. “ Should I release and give life to this land?” Wonders the bitter cloud.
That is when the cries of the innocent can be heard, the praise and the prays are lifted up. The heart of the cloud breaks with sadness and it gives way.
Life to the hopeless!

What's goin' on inside of me?

So reading week is over, to which all I can say is "Holy Crap, the semester is flying by!" I went Ohio to visit Lez, it was good, to spend time with her, juts to see her! It was needed more than anything. I had a good experience, a burden was lifted but I came home to another one! Work has been stressful lately. Not the actual job but the people. Nothing is ever good enough, my life is not as stressful as theirs, I'm not as busy as they are! It's frustrating, I care about these people (I should considering I spend 40 hours a week with them!) but they've become so unbelievable adjutating! They call me cranky and bitchy, they feel they can because I, unlike them, haven't worked for 41 hours. But oh no...I can't talk about the fact that I'm in school as well, because that's not as stressful as having to raise my roomates 5 year old, and I don't have a wife! People who have never gone to university, in my opinion, have no right to even compare their stresses against the stress of papers, exams, and the like! I don't dispute the fact that they have stressful lives, but when they demean me and my stresses and are constantly comparing and judging me because I'm having a crappy day drives me mad! I wish I could just look them in the eyes and say, "You know what you can do? You can buggar off!" But I won't, I'll just continue to take it and every now and then rant on my blog like this...I apologize in advance!

Bob is a wise man!

So the other day at work a gentleman came in looking for the copy of Shawshank Redemption that he had on reserve. As I proceeded to help him he started to talk to me. Talk to me about, well, a lot of things. His first comment was that Tim Robbins character and he were the same person. They were very similar. So he decided to tell me about his adventures with the correctional service in Ontario, he even showed me a check that came from the system. He was a real nice guy, he talked a lot, like 45 minutes, creeped me out a bit at first, but then I realized that everyone needs an un-biased ear! I mentioned to him that my dad works at the courts here in Toronto, young offenders though. He automatically asked, "what does he do?" to which I replied, "he's a chaplain." " With the Salvation Army?" "Yes!" "The Salvation Army are good people, I have something at home that I want you to give to your dad for me." At this point, he went home and about 20 minutes later he returned with a section of his book with a note to my father written on the top page. He spent a lot of time in the store and the funny part is, he still hasn't bought the movie, it still sits in the hold drawer.

I'm telling you this because, my dad left the papers on the kitchen table, so I decided to read some of them. They moved me to tears, his thoughts, his ideas, his actual words. From a prison cell Bob, was able to take his own experience and what he saw in the world and put it down on paper. It opened my eyes! Here's a little taste:

I have learnt that in order to learn, you've got to be free. Even though you may be caged, locked up for 24 hours a day, you are still free as long as you don't give up control of your mind. most people are not behind bars, but I believe they are prisoners, and are in self-imposed prisons, the worst kind of prison. they are prisoner to their beliefs, certitudes, addictions, and ignorance. to be in a self-imposed prison is the greatest act of ignorance, when you can free yourself by risking to be just you.

It's true! I've been facing that a lot at work. People being imprisoned because they can't unlock the door to the cell of their mind and just listen to their hearts to become themselves. Not to let what the "norms" or what society says jade your mind.

Just a thought!

I just wanna fall asleep!

So, I've been trying to make some decisions lately and it's not going as well as I had thought it would! For so long you know exactly what you want and when the time comes to get it, you second guess yourself. What does God want? Is it the right choice? What do I want? What's best for my future? Is this even possible for my future? The worst part is, is that no one can seem to give me solid advice, they all keep telling me to leave it in God's hands, to which I keep saying, "ya think I'm not doing that already?" And then I get frustrated because God isn't really sending me clear signals, or maybe he is but I'm to dense to realize what they mean. Should I even read into things? Do I have a right to? Does God want me to know, to understand? Does He just want me to wait? I wish I knew...then maybe I could get some sleep!